Well, when it’s estimated that up to 1 in 4 women and up to 1 in 6 men will experience sexual violence at some point in their lifetime, (ie: a substantial percentage of any comedy theatre audience) perhaps the rape joke just ISN’T that funny?
The content and delivery of Daniel Tosh’s recent ‘rape joke’ was designed purely to intimidate and humiliate a ‘weaker' person, which of course has parallels with the act of rape itself. It’s just horrible. In case you’re not aware what he said, here’s a blog entry from a friend of the ‘Girl who walks into a comedy club’
I should add that Tosh says he was misquoted (can the audience member REALLY be expected to remember Tosh's words verbatim under such stress?) but he has offered an apology.
The following excerpt reminded me of a similar situation I experienced two or three years ago….
After I called out to him, Tosh paused for a moment. Then, he says, “Wouldn’t it be funny if that girl got raped by like, 5 guys right now? Like right now? What if a bunch of guys just raped her…” and I, completely stunned and finding it hard to process what was happening but knowing i needed to get out of there, immediately nudged my friend, who was also completely stunned, and we high-tailed it out of there. It was humiliating, of course, especially as the audience guffawed in response to Tosh, their eyes following us as we made our way out of there. I didn’t hear the rest of what he said about me.
So, I went along to see a comedian, whose name I’m not going to divulge here as I don’t want to give him any publicity to be honest. As this comedian was very funny in the 90’s (a meaner person than I might say this was reliant on his then comedy partner, someone now lauded as a comedic genius), and his material was very much rooted in the surreal, I didn’t anticipate the show to be filled with so much unfunny crap heavily focused on sexual abuse. After an hour of not laughing and feeling increasingly disappointed as the time went on, I had no choice than to walk out of the room.
The comedian, obviously affronted by my gesture, called me a paedophile as I left. Similarly to the ‘Girl who walks into a comedy club’, I left to snorts of laughter from a bunch of mindless gonks. Like, OMGZ, how hilarious!! Look everyone, the funny man says I’m a paedophile!!
Of course, calling a woman a paedophile is an absurd and abstract concept as everyone knows that paedophiles are middle aged+ men with pockets full of Haribo tangfastics, an internet connection and cellars full of make believe puppies, right? How could I possibly take offence?
Of course, calling a woman a paedophile is an absurd and abstract concept as everyone knows that paedophiles are middle aged+ men with pockets full of Haribo tangfastics, an internet connection and cellars full of make believe puppies, right? How could I possibly take offence?
So, I sent said comedian an email to tell him why I was unhappy and threw a few stats at him, should he want to take this into account for future material. He responded with an apology for calling me a paedophile, but after a few email exchanges, I established that there was going to be no shift in his somewhat pompous thinking as he’d ‘checked out’ his material with a friend first, and it was all completely fine so it was just me with the problem. He added that I was the only person to complain about his work, but mentioned that he’d “had others walk out” of his show (sorry, is walking out without also writing a formal complaint not classed as a protest these days?) Needless to say, I resolved never to see any of his work again and I can’t imagine I’m missing out on much.
So, he, Daniel Tosh and their likeminded peers are being deliberately 'edgy' (read offensive) all in the name of freedom of expression. They will not, however, afford that same right to the audience members who exercise their freedom to leave the show without being further harassed and abused on their way out. Tosh had not a modicum of empathy for the woman he humiliated, her friend – nor ANYONE in that audience. When we think about the 1 in 4 and 1 in 6 statistics, the person leaving the show – her friend - and indeed everyone sat in the audience - may be someone who has suffered abuse and has been triggered, or they may be someone who has supported a loved one through a recovery process. The 'edgy' comedian just doesn’t know, and worse still, he damned well doesn't care – as the laugh is all that matters, right?
Right?
Or is it the money?
It's interesting that the biggest tax dodging stand-up out there at the moment isn't the newly established family favourite, Michael McIntyre, but the ever charming Jimmy Carr. While not being familiar with his material, I can certainly take a guess at its content ('Rapier Wit' tour anyone?). For all the endless talk of artistic freedom and expression, Tosh, Carr et al are just in it for the MON£Y and they'll chase success by any means necessary. In essence, this leaves us with a raft of wannabe stand ups who supplement poor quality unfunny material with streams of jokes about rape and sexual abuse believing it makes them the reincarnation of Lenny Bruce or Bill Hicks.
So while Tosh and Carr count up their respective dollar bills and pound notes, their material has entered the public consciousness and is adding further to our shameless culture of victim blaming and it's normalising rape and sexual violence. And they’ll berate and intimidate anyone who challenges them in the process – they’re the ones with the microphone after all.
If, like me, you prefer your comedy more "insightful" than "inciteful", perhaps you’d consider donating a few pounds to The Survivors Trust, a national umbrella agency representing 130+ voluntary support groups around the UK who work with women, men and children who are survivors of rape, sexual violence or childhood sexual abuse, and their supporters. In my humble opinion, it’s a far better use of your hard earned cash than lining the likes of Tosh’s or Carr’s ever-expanding pockets.
And lastly, for a really interesting read from a comedian who used to tell rape jokes, have a look here.
